Adverbs Must Die

“Unfortunately, my dog died tragically when it was hit by a car. Happily, my cat is still actively alive.”

"He recklessly drove down Market Street at 90 miles per hour.”

“Harry tripped and bashed his shin painfully on a tree stump.”

“Don’t be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black.” [Bruce Mau]

“The brilliant comedian Steven Wright once wrote . . .”

“Barry Bonds powerfully hit the baseball out of the stadium and into the bay.”

“Barry Bonds magnificently hit the baseball out of the stadium and into the bay.”

“Mia Hamm skillfully kicked a miraculous goal.”

“‘Go to hell,’ he spat malevolently.”

“My insensitive cousin heartlessly flushed the toilet in which the fish swam.” [Farley Mowatt]

“I waited expectantly for the fish to die.”

“For a time, Max erroneously believed this interest in geology was why he was called ‘Stony,’ but that wasn’t it.” [Robert Earle]

“. . . the explorer Ernest Giles, who spent days wandering waterless and half dead before coming fortuitously on a baby wallaby that had tumbled from its mother’s pouch.”
[Bill Bryson]

“. . . don’t underestimate the broncolike ability of the English language to throw anyone who leaps cocksurely into the saddle.” [E. B. White]

compiled by: Evan Elliot